Ensine tolerância às frustrações ao seu filho

 

Nas palavras de Fernando Pessoa, “tudo vale a pena quando a alma não é pequena”.

Certa vez, eu estava passeando na Chapada dos Veadeiros e num riacho joguei migalhas de pão para os peixinhos.

Achei que estava arrasando, com a minha iniciativa brilhante.

Tomei foi uma senhora bronca do guia turístico: “Você não deve fazer isto! ”, e mais, “Se todos que passarem por aqui jogarem comida, os peixes ficarão preguiçosos, vão esquecer como se caça…. Além disto, pode promover uma superpopulação de peixes e desequilíbrio ecológico…”. E por aí foi…

Como bom orgulhoso e egocêntrico que sou, na hora senti vergonha e fiquei com raiva do guia, por ter me chamado a atenção daquela forma.

Após um certo tempo, consegui digerir o ressentimento, e hoje vejo a experiência como um valioso aprendizado na minha vida.

Um professor meu em Brasília costumava dizer: “Temos que tomar cuidado porque muitas vezes achamos que estamos ajudando e na verdade, estamos atrapalhando. ”

Acho difícil discernir na hora da ação, se o resultado final será benéfico ou não. Penso então, que talvez o caminho seja ficarmos vigilantes quanto à nossa intenção em agir. Isto também não é fácil e envolve um olhar para si mesmo com muita sinceridade e honestidade. Precisamos estar bem treinados para conseguir fazer isto, porque em nosso padrão mental condicionado, costumamos negar o sentido real de nossas ações.

Muitas vezes existe mais amor em um não do que em um sim. E isto deve ser ensinado desde a mais tenra infância.

A prevenção é mais eficiente e mais barata. Então, aqui vai a dica de ouro: “Ajude seus filhos a desenvolverem tolerância às frustrações”.

Se você é daquela mãe (ou pai) que não quer ver seu filho sofrendo de forma alguma, aterrize!

Se seu filho espernear, jamais dê a ele o que ele quer. Coloque limites. Mostre a ele que há situações nas quais não tem negociação. Faça isto desde cedo.

Em caso de dificuldades, tenha humildade e peça ajuda à um profissional. Existem mesmo situações que são bem difíceis.

Exercite você também a tolerância ao desconforto, fuja do “gostosinho” um pouco. Tome um banho frio de vez em quando; não se apresse em ligar o ar condicionado; espere antes de “avançar” na comida (perceba e sinta o impulso, a tendência); finalize a sua refeição mesmo se ainda estiver com vontade de comer mais um pouco; enfrente o aversivo; experimente um pouco das coisas que você não gosta….

Mas vá com calma, não exagere e tenha bom senso.

Com bastante treinamento, quando seu filho der uma birra, tenha ele 5 ou 30 anos de idade, você conseguirá tolerar melhor a situação e saberá o que fazer com mais lucidez.

Somos seres de hábitos, e o hábito só adquirimos fazendo, fazendo, fazendo…

Cuide-se! Esta é a melhor forma de ajudar os outros!

 

QUE TAL SER UMA PESSOA MELHOR PRA VOCÊ E PARA O MUNDO?! 

COMO?????

CONHEÇA MEU CURSO DE DESENVOLVIMENTO PESSOAL – FORTEMENTE

CLIQUE AQUI

About Bruno Caetano

Dr Bruno Caetano Vieira - CRMMG: 35209 - Graduado em Medicina pela UFU - Residência Médica em Psiquiatria pela UFU - Membro Titular da ABP - Terapeuta Cognitivo-comportamental - Instrutor de Meditação.

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